The Health Benefits of Forgiveness
- mclapham9
- 4 days ago
- 5 min read
"I've been tryin' to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about
Forgiveness, forgiveness…”
Don Henley, The Heart of the Matter, 1989
As human beings, we are familiar with the concept of needing to forgive those who have wronged us. However, people are often uncertain about how to accomplish forgiveness (7) or understand its importance in their own health and wellbeing (9). This article examines the physiological and psychological aspects of forgiveness, as well as the process of forgiveness and how the act of forgiveness is a gift to oneself.
What is Forgiveness?
Psychologists define forgiveness as “a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness” (1).
The choice to forgive someone frees you from the burden of carrying the rage and resentment surrounding the event(s). Forgiveness brings you peace as you chose to let go of negative feelings tied to the person(s) and the offense(s) (1). Per the on-line article What Is Forgiveness? committing to forgiveness “empowers you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define you, enabling you to heal and move on with your life” (1).
What Forgiveness is Not
As important as it is to understand what forgiveness is, it is just as important to understand what forgiveness is not:
Forgiveness is not denying the seriousness of the offense(s) against you (1).
Forgiveness does not mean to forget or excuse the offense(s) (1).
Forgiveness does not oblige you to reunite with the person who harmed you (1).
Forgiveness does it mean the person who harmed you is free from any legal consequences of their actions (1).
Understanding what forgiveness is, and is not, is important. However, it is also very critical to understand how a lack of forgiveness affects a person’s physical well-being and mental health.
The Physiological Impact of Chronic Anger and Resentment
Long-standing resentment and unresolved feelings of conflict in your personal life cause more than just irritation and unpleasant feelings towards others. These emotions can contribute to chronic stress and eventually affect your overall physical health (9).
The web article Forgiveness: Your Health Depends on It (2) states: “Chronic anger puts you into a fight-or-flight mode, which results in numerous changes in heart rate, blood pressure and immune response. Those changes, then, increase the risk of depression, heart disease and diabetes, among other conditions” (1).
The fight-or-flight response is the body’s response to acute stress, a perceived harmful event or attack or threat to survival. The body releases catecholamines (norepinephrine and epinephrine) and hormones (estrogen, testosterone and cortisol) and the brain releases neurotransmitters (dopamine and serotonin) in response to the perceived threat (3,4) . These chemical changes prepare a person to fight the threat or flee from it. Once the perceived threatening situation goes away, the fight-or-flight response innately ceases, and the body and brain return to homeostasis (balance).
In the presence of chronic anger and resentment, the fight-or-flight response does not resolve. The on-going fight-or-flight response causes persistent elevations of the catecholamines, hormones and neurotransmitters (stress hormones) associated with the fight-or-flight response (3,4). These chronic elevations of catecholamines, hormones and neurotransmitters may result in hypertension, sleep difficulties, and restlessness.
The presence of high levels of cortisol in the blood is found in persons with a chronic fight-or-flight response. Cortisol is a hormone produced by the body’s adrenal glands and helps to regulate blood sugar, helps the body to fight infections and helps the body respond to stress (3,4). Persistently elevated blood cortisol levels are known to contribute to a number of chronic conditions including difficulty regulating blood sugar levels and may also lead to the development of insulin resistance, type-2 diabetes and chronic inflammation (6).
The Psychological Impact of Chronic Anger and Resentment
Chronic anger and resentment set a person up for difficulties with social functioning and prolonged emotional burdens (8). These difficulties may include (8):
Self-isolation – isolating oneself is often seen as a self-protective mechanism, but it prevents close relationships and having support during difficult times
Chronic anxiety – An increased state of alertness (fight-or-flight) and constant reactivity to negative emotions contribute to anxiety
Higher risk of developing depression – persons who suppress their emotions are often found to have higher rates of depression.
Increased risk of substance abuse – the presence of chronic anger and resentment causes some individuals to turn to substances such as drugs or alcohol to numb their emotions. Substance abuse often worsens anger issues, which may lead to loss of self-control and unstable personal relationships.
Why is Forgiveness Important?
As stated previously, the choice to forgive someone frees you from the burden of carrying the emotional burdens of unforgiveness, brings you peace, allows you to heal (1), Forgiveness allows to you reduce or avoid symptoms of anxiety, depression and the possible physical effects of unforgiveness such as hypertension, insulin resistance and sleep disturbances
A large clinical trial, International REACH Forgiveness Intervention: a multisite randomized controlled trial (11), indicated the act of forgiveness resulted in lowered anxiety and depression in the study participants. The trial also showed how the use of the REACH Forgiveness tool could assist participants in addressing their unforgiveness and guide them to a more forgiving mind set (11).
How Does One Forgive?
First and foremost, a person must choose to forgive. Forgiveness is not an automatic response to injustice or wrongdoing. If you find you are ready to forgive someone, it’s important to begin the process of forgiveness with openness and honesty. Some persons find it helpful to journal their thoughts during the process of forgiveness.
It’s helpful to begin with reviewing the events and how you reacted, your emotions and how the events have affected you since the event(s) occurred. Are you able to have some compassion towards the person who wronged you? Are you able to understand and accept that people are not perfect, make mistakes, say the wrong things at the wrong time, judge others and sometimes be short-sighted in their relationships with others?
It is very important to let go of any expectations or false hopes regarding any possible interaction or reconciliation with the other party. Do not expect an apology. An apology may not necessarily heal your relationship. Basically, if you don’t expect an apology, you will not be disappointed.
Once you choose to forgive it’s important to put your thoughts into action. If you feel unable to speak to the person who mistreated you, speak about your decision to forgive with a trusted person.
Another option is to journal about your journey of forgiveness. If you are interested in using the REACH Forgiveness tool to guide you during this process, the on-line tool is available at The REACH Forgiveness Workbook.
And finally…
During this process, it’s important to forgive yourself. Harboring resentful thoughts after being mistreated is not abnormal. It means you’re human. It’s what you do with these thoughts and respond to how they affect you physically and mentally is what matters.
Be kind to yourself. Focus on activities, pets and people who lower your stress, improve your outlook on the world and love you for you. Savor the lightness of mind and body which accompany the act of forgiveness.
Bibliography:
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/forgiveness/definition
https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/forgiveness-your-health-depends-on-it
Fight-or-flight response (2025) Retrieved June 26, 2025, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fight-or-flight_response
Hypothalamus, Cleveland Clinic Health Library (2022); Retrieved June 19, 2025, from https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/22566-hypothalamus
Post traumatic stress disorder (2025) Retrieved June 13, 2025, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-traumatic_stress_disorder
Cortisol (Blood); The University of Rochester Medical Center; 2000-2025 The StayWell Company, LLC (2025) Retrieved June 27, 2025, from www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content?contenttypeid=167&contentid=cortisol_serum
https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/resentment-like-holding-onto-hot-coals
www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/08870446.2018.1545906?src=recsys
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