Gathering with family and friends during the Holiday Season, is for many, a time to participate in the tradition of gift giving. Choosing any gift can be daunting but choosing one for your elderly loved one is even more so. The passing of time has taken with it the norms of yesterday and what once was a good gift may not be so today. When choosing a gift for the elderly loved one you need to ask the question, have they changed over the years, and if so, how? The answer to this question needs to be kept front and center when selecting a gift. Understanding how these changes affect their day to day should be considered when choosing a gift. Selection can be made easier by following a few simple suggestions which are designed to help you make the necessary modifications for a great gift giving experience. With a little creative searching you can find comfort in knowing your efforts can bring out the holiday spirit as it should be, full of fun and great joy.
Here are some suggestions to consider when you find yourself wondering what to give.
· Try to eliminate any barriers to help them enjoy the gift.
· Make sure they can take care of it.
· Look for age-appropriate items.
· Choose something they will like.
· Make sure it is washable.
· Select something that isn’t fragile or easily broken.
· Try to find things that don’t spoil.
· Plan to be available.
Do they have any barriers that will prevent them from enjoying it? If they do, consider modifications. For example, if they were avid readers but vision changes make it too challenging to read small print, consider large print books or large print puzzles. If space or finances are limited, consider helping them obtain a library card from the local library. Having a library card gives them access to free books, audio books and even music. If possible, find a gift that is specific to them. If they once enjoyed going outside walking, hiking, or camping but physically this is too difficult, you may consider a subscription to an outdoor magazine. Perhaps a video or audio book about traveling might be to their liking.
Will they be able to take care of it where they are living? If they live alone, you need to consider if they can take care of it by themselves or will they need assistance from someone else? The National Council on Aging (NCOA), has identified falls as the leading cause of injuries in the elderly population, but with modifications can be reduced. So, if you decide to give them a plant, can they water it safely or does it create a fall hazard? Another way to bring nature closer is to hang a bird feeder in a nearby window but again, consider if they will they be able to refill it safely? Just make sure when you select any gift item, it is something they can safely take care of by themselves or if needed, they have help available.
Always ask yourself if it is it age appropriate? Perhaps they once enjoyed tapping into their artistic side, yet as they age their abilities have changed. According to the NCOA, Arthritis pain can impact the elderly hands and may result in loss of control and decreased participation. With that said you should consider their ability to hold a thin barrel paint brush or pen as a potential barrier. Also consider any changes in mobility which can limit their ability to clean up painting supplies. If this is the case, you can find a gift with modifications to help them rekindle these talents. For example, put together a basket with larger barrel crayons, colored pencils and pens and include age-appropriate drawing books or coloring books which would be easier to store and set up than paints. Add a little note of encouragement and you now have a nice gift package for the artist at heart.
When making gift choices, ask yourself if it is something they will like. Knowing what another person likes can be challenging and may require the help of others, so go for it, ask someone who knows them. If you give a gift basket filled with lotions and perfumes to someone who is sensitive to different smells you may not have chosen wisely. If you select a long sleeve sweater for someone who always wears short sleeves, chances are they won’t wear it. On the other hand, if you give a lap blanket to someone who is always cold and spends most of their time in a wheelchair, you will be right on target. However, holiday gift giving can be an opportunity to think out of the box so don’t forget that something new and different may be enjoyable as well. Thankfully there are many choices and all it takes is a bit of creative searching.
One very important thing to consider is how to clean it. Keeping things clean is important especially if they live in group setting. Luckily most things are washable either by putting it in the washing machine or wiping it off with a damp cloth. Read the labels. A nice sweater that is “dry clean only” may not be the best choice. Giving them one that can go through the washer would be more practical.
Using caution with anything that is breakable is the best rule of thumb. It is important to consider how fragile a gift is especially when space is limited. For example, a collector figurine may not be the best item to give your loved one because it can easily break, so instead, take a picture of it and hang it on their wall. This may take up less space, last longer and give them more enjoyment overall. Perhaps a photo album with a variety of pictures would be more to their liking. Either way, durability is important and avoiding breakable items needs to be considered.
When deciding to give a gift that can potentially spoil its best to keep in mind expiration dates. Without taking away from the appearance of the gift, you can bring attention to the expiration date by placing a circle around it or by re-writing it in bigger font so its easily seen. Whether this is an item that does not need to be refrigerated such as certain cookies or candy as well as items that need to be kept in the refrigerator such as pie or eggnog, make sure all of them have an easily identifiable expiration date within view. Taking this simple step can minimize the stress for them as well as for yourself.
Other options to give to your elderly loved one is your time. According to the National Institute on Aging, older adults can experience a decrease in health due to loneliness and social isolation. This can be more prevalent during the holidays so planning your time for a visit might be the best gift you can give. During your visit you may want to go for a walk or take them on a drive. If possible, a drive through a festive neighborhood, one that is fully lit up with Christmas lights might spark the Holiday mood. If going outside isn’t possible, then consider inviting family and friends over for an evening at home. Perhaps coordinate a favorite family dinner and invite everyone to participate in cooking. When enlisting an elderly person to help with cooking keep in mind the barriers mentioned earlier. The NCOA suggest the use of adaptive equipment such as easy grip utensils, rubber handled utensils or even silicone bottom bowls for those with limited joint mobility. Bringing loved ones together to cook will add another story to share and possibly a bit of spice to the meal. Gathering around the kitchen table, putting a family photo album together, or recording favorite recipes can bring smiles for years to come. Life is busy and time is passing, so spending any amount of it with your elderly loved one might turn out to be the best gift of all.
Following the suggestions above will help you select the best and most appropriate gift for your elderly loved one. It will save you time shopping and perhaps make it possible for you to spend more time with your loved one. Remember, spending time with your elderly loved one creates another cherished moment to be remembered.
Happy Holidays,
Robin DeLeon RN
https://www.ncoa.org/article/get-the-facts-on-falls-prevention Assessed and Endorsed by the MedReport Medical Review Board
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